Can it really be over?

Wow! In only a few days I will be flying out of Tanzania! My flight to Turkey leaves Tuesday! I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand I am very eager to get home, sigh a big sigh of relief that I survived, and begin to think toward the resumption of studies in September. On the other hand I am really sad to be leaving Tanzania. I love being here, have grown to love so much about the people I've met and places I've seen and the dalla dallas that are always an adventure. A Canadian I met this past week even noted that my speach has changed and swahilified! Friendly greetings and smiling children and stubborn bargaining over prices, rice and beans with a bit of mchicha and meat, learning a new language bit by bit, random conversations in the dalla dallas or walking down the street, (including one in French when I met some Congolese women who spoke French but not English OR Kiswahili, and I found myself finding Kiswahili words sooner than French ones...) good laughs with locals about the differences between wazungu and waswahili, etc. Some things I haven't done that I wanted to- take a Kiswahili course, travel to other parts of the country like Arusha/Mt. Kilimanjaro or Tanga, check out other missions agencies and how they do things, etc. But, it is over for now- I have to answer everybody's biggest question of whether I will be back by saying 'kama Mungu akipenda'- if God wishes, because how can I be sure what the future will bring- but I do have a very strong desire to return. I will be surprised and sad if I am never able to come back.

Anyway, I will cut short these philosophical musings here, as I'm sure I could go on for quite a while without getting anywhere concrete. The concluding point is that I have a lot of tension in me between how much I eagerly anticipate being home and how much I really see this place as another home. I'm sure that isn't a big surprise to anyone who's travelled to work in some other part of the world. It doesn't mean life has always been easy here, but I really feel blessed to have been able to live these 10 months in this country of Tanzania.

And, a quick note about heading off to Turkey- I'm not sure what my internet access will be like there, so this may well be my last blog entry! I might be able to run into an internet cafe to check mail, but chances are I will not be able to write much back or even look at the blog. So, come Tuesday, I will be off...